Upcoming media

An exclusive full review of The Complete WWF Video Guide Volume #I will be featured in the December 27th issue of Fighting Spirit Magazine (FSM). 

Look out for a mention of the book in the forthcoming issue of Power Slam magazine.

The book is available from lulu.com and on kindle at Amazon. Look out for Volume #II in January 2013!

Bio: Miss Elizabeth

The upcoming book also features short snippet bios on all of the key players (and some not so key players) from the era. Here is an example:

Miss Elizabeth

The importance of Elizabeth to the career of Randy Savage cannot be overstated. She was very much the yin to his yang, an intrinsic part of the character. Indeed, one could go so far as to say they had a symbiotic relationship; one could not exist without the other. Indeed, the only thing really keeping fans from cheering Savage at first, as they so desperately wanted to do, was the way he was treating Elizabeth. Savage’s on-screen jealously climaxed in a feud with George Steele, who became besotted with Elizabeth. While the matches between the two didn't click and often actually rather sucked, which was a rarity for a Savage bout in this era, the fans were gripped by the rivalry for years. However, Savage’s jealousy extended beyond the cameras, and there are numerous legendary tales of how he used to treat his real-life wife behind the scenes. Some observes claim that Savage used to lock Elizabeth in closets, and when she was allowed out, she was instructed by Randy to stare at the floor and not make eye contact with any of the wrestlers. Various other anecdotes have been told over the years, with George Steele claiming in a Kayfabe Commentaries shoot interview that on Elizabeth’s first day with the WWF, Savage made her practice walking up and down the ring steps and getting into the ring a few hundred times. The reason? To assess how much leg she was showing and deciding if it was acceptable. His mind must have been blown by the SummerSlam 88 spot where Elizabeth took her skirt off completely to reveal just a pair of bikini pants. Savage was by all accounts completely paranoid when it came to Elizabeth, and Steele used to love winding him up about it just before they went through the curtain, because it got Savage in the right frame of mind for the matches. Or maybe it distracted him, they were pretty balls, after all. Elizabeth developed a massive following during her tenure, become probably the most loved female performer the WWE ever had. It is a shame she later allowed her image to be ruined by the ineptitude of WCW booking. Sadly Elizabeth died in new boyfriend Lex Luger’s house in 2003, after a lethal combination of drugs and booze. Yeah, Luger. We don’t know what she was thinking either.

The Complete WWF Video Guide Volume #1

Here is the complete tape listing for the upcoming book. All are fully reviewed, dissected and discussed by James Dixon, Evil Ste, Lee Maughan and Arnold Furious:

Wrestling's Bloopers, Bleeps & Bodyslams
Hulkamania
Best of the WWF Vol 1
WrestleMania
Most Unusual Matches
Andre the Giant
Best of the WWF Vol 2
Wrestling's Biggest, Smallest, Strangest, Strongest
Rowdy Roddy Piper's Greatest Hits
Best of the WWF Vol 3
The Amazing Managers
Wrestling's Country Boys
Best of the WWF Vol 4
The Wrestling Classic
Tag Team Champions
The Life and Times of Captain Lou Albano
Best of the WWF Vol 5
Grudge Matches
Ricky The Dragon Steamboat
Best of the WWF Vol 6
WrestleMania II
Villains of the Squared Circle
Bruno Sammartino: Living Legend
Best of the WWF Vol 7
The WWF's Explosive TNT Show
Macho Man Randy Savage and Elizabeth
Best of the WWF Vol 8
The Big Event
Inside the Steel Cage
The British Bulldogs
Best of the WWF Vol 9
Grand Slams
Hulkamania 2
Best of the WWF Vol 10
WrestleMania III
The History of the Intercontinental Title
The Hart Foundation
Best of the WWF Vol 11
Even More Unusual Matches
Jake The Snake Roberts
Best of the WWF Vol 12
The History of the WWF Title
The Ken Patera Story
Best of the WWF Vol 13
Piledriver: Wrestling Music Videos
Wrestling's Most Embarrassing Moments
George The Animal Steele
Best of the WWF Vol 14
Survivor Series 87
SNME: The Greatest Hits
Brutus The Barber Beefcake
Best of the WWF Vol 15
WrestleMania IV
The Women of the WWF
Hulkamania 3
Best of the WWF Vol 16
Summerslam 88
Wrestlefest (88)
Macho Madness
Best of the WWF Vol 17
Survivor Series 88
Royal Rumble 89
Brains Behind the Brawn
Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Best of the WWF Vol 18
WrestleMania V
More Saturday Night's Main Event
The Ultimate Warrior
Best of the WWF Vol 19
Fan Favourites
Demolition
Best of the WWF Vol 20
Summerslam 89
Hulkamania 4
Survivor Series 89
The WWFs Greatest Matches
The Hulkster, Hulk Hogan
Highlights of Wrestlemania
Hulk Hogan: Real American
WrestleMania's Greatest Matches
High Flyers
Strong Men

Supertape

Rough first draft from our upcoming book; The Complete WWF Video Guide (Volume I)

Mr. Perfect w/ The Genius vs. Ronnie Garvin

JD - We are in Nashville, Tennessee and it is December 1989. This is a fan favourite match. Sorry, Ste.

ES - Of all the ways to start, it has to be with the curse of fan favourites. Perfect is in it, which means it COULD be good, but Garvin is a poor choice of opponent to bring out the best of him. Perfect is wearing black, and he is never as good in black. He has his best matches in blue.

JD - Are you serious? You really think that matters.

ES - Sure, it's perception isn't it?

JD - If you say so. Cagey start here, until Garvin unloads at speed, sending Perfect out of the ring. Back inside and we have a slugfest in the corner, which Garvin wins as he sends Perfect outside again, this time with a big uppercut.

ES - The name Ronnie Garvin usually provokes yawning from me, but this has been a decent start and Garvin has looked decent. He wasn't a bad wrestler by any means, he was just far more suited for WCW/NWA that he was the over-the-top World Wrestling Federation.

JD - Perfect manages to get a foothold in the bout with a sleeper and a side headlock, before hitting some vicious chops and raking the eyes. Garvin retaliates in kind with chops and rakes of his own. Perfect tries to counter a back body drop with a sunset flip, but Garvin punches him and hits a splash for a two count. Garvin Stomp follows, but Perfect escapes the reverse figure four leglock by going to the eyes.

ES - The curse may be broken here, because this has been pretty exciting. Perfect's hair has become wild, it is all fluffy like a baby!

JD - Rolling neck snap from Perfect, but Garvin gets back to his feet and they exchanges blows, before Garvin locks in a sleeper. Perfect gets his foot on the ropes at the subsequent pin attempt. Garvin continues to control the match, as he has done for the most part, hitting a back body drop.

ES - I am actually surprised at just how much of the bout Garvin has had. They have completely ignored formula and just had a contest, though it has very much favoured Garvin.

JD - Both men collide with shoulder blocks but Garvin recovers first with a roll up, only for Perfect to switch it into his own and catch the win.

ES - Surprisingly good match compared to what I was expecting, though not as wild as some of Perfects best.

Final Rating: **1/2

JD - I am almost scared to even say this, but now we have a superstar profile on the Bushwhackers.

ES - WHY!? This is a disgrace. All of these superstar profiles always focus on someone completely shit. The Bushwhackers are to wrestling what cancer is to humans.

JD - The whole segment is also featured on the WWF's Funniest Moments tape

ES - Yeah, and you can read about it there, because we are not giving it anymore wordage in this book, I don't care if it is out of sequence. If you can't be bothered turning the pages to find it, I don't blame you. The gist is, the Bushwhackers thrown Gene Okerland and talk utter fucking nonsense, then Gene turns into a Bushwhacker. They should have shot him on the spot.

The Bushwhackers vs. The Bolsheviks

JD - This is the Bushwhackers' WWF debut from December 1988 in MSG

ES - A black day for the WWF, and indeed wrestling in general. You would be hard pressed to find two worse teams.

JD - The Bushwhackers start quickly, with their unique style amusing the commentary team. They dominate the...

ES - Oh fuck off James, no-one reading this gives a shit what the Bushwhackers did in this shambles of a match. You realise we are probably going to have to sit through three of their repetitive, wrestling-free, suspension of disbelief shattering matches? What is there to say about this? Generic "comedy" shiny, tedious slow heat, blah, blah, blah. There is no need to review ANY Bushwhackers match, because they are all the same: SHIT! Fast forward them, all of them. They have never had a match above bad, never mind one that is good. Look, they are hitting each other now because they are so zany. Yeah nice one. The Bolsheviks always lose against anyone above jobber status and they lose here. Next.

Final Rating: DUD

The Bushwhackers vs. Bad News Brown & The Brooklyn Brawler

JD - We are in Duluth, Minnesota and it is May 1989. Brown and Brawler are a rather unusual team.

ES - Well, Brown hated all his tag partners and walked out on them. I hope he does the same here, only as soon as the bell rings, so we don't have to watch this. I love Brown, but Brawler is duller than dull, and obviously, my feelings on the Bushwhackers are pretty clear.

JD - Are they? You have been quite subtle so far! Are you going to let me talk about the match with you this time, or are you just going to rant?

ES - Actually I might go and inject myself with bleach, because it would be preferable to watching this. Oh look, ass-biting... I wonder what the good workers used to make of the Bushwhackers. I hope they were hated in the locker-room for being so bad. I know the Clique used to rip them to shreds in the 90's. We are not justifying this with play-by-play either, because there is nothing to say. Shit match, Bushwhackers win by pinning Brawler. Let's get this over with.

Final Rating: DUD

The Bushwhackers vs. The Powers of Pain w/ Mr. Fuji

ES - Yippee, lets at The Warlord to the mix to make this as bad as it possibly can be.

JD - Right, well this is from the Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Canada, and it is now August 1989.

ES - Talk about a styles clash, these two teams do not match up at all. I mean, obviously no-one matches up with the Bushwhackers, but this just looks ridiculous. If the POP sell a single move for the midgets, I will be appalled. I am hoping Barbarian busts out one of his sick clotheslines or boots in this, to at least make one of these matches worth watching for SOMETHING.

JD - The Bushwhackers counter power with comedy, with Butch crouching down behind Barbarian as Luke pushes him over.

ES - Awful.

JD - Luke sizes up Warlord, concerned at his size, but he just marches around the ring and goes to the eyes. They are very much playing this for comedy. Bearhug from Warlord, but Luke counters by biting his nose.

ES - Ah yeah, that age old, tried and tested counter as made popular by Lou Thesz. The Bushwhackers wouldn't know a wrestling hold if it hit them in their gurning, toothless faces. The POP are showing way too much ass in this one for a monster heel team. I am amazed they agreed to this.

JD - Barbarian rams Butch into the post outside the ring, and Warlord continues the assault inside. Barbarian comes in and hits a big boot to the face, and Luke's attempts to save his cousin result in double teaming from the POP.

ES - The boot made me happy. This match has not.

JD - At least you are being quiet for it!

ES - I am not even watching. I am trying to carve "die Bushwhackers die" into my chest a'la Sideshow Bob.

JD - Good luck with that. Barbarian misses an elbow from the middle rope and Luke gets the hot tag, and uses his innovative offense to fire up on the Warlord. The Bushwhackers hit the Battering Ram on both guys, which causes Mr. Fuji to come in and they attack with his cane. This results in a DQ and a win for the Bushwhackers.

ES - The Bushwhackers won!? Holy fuck what was wrong with the WWF? Lord Alfred Hayes is confused about the result, because he is a fucking moron. He could have been a Bushwhacker; he has the intellect for it.

Final Rating: DUD

JD - Call of the Action with The Rockers, which is a staple of the Supertape series. For those who have not seen it before, it is Lord Alfred Hayes naming and describing moves.

ES - Usually wrongly. Until Mike Adamle and then later Michael Cole came along, no-one was as inept as Hayes behind the announce desk.

Rick Rude vs. Tito Santana

JD - We move on with this match from Boston Garden in February 1989.

ES - Well, what a change of pace this should be. Two superb workers, who when motivated were among the best the WWF had. Hopefully they can erase the bad taste the Bushwhackers have left.

JD - Test of strength to start, which Rude wins at first, before Tito turns it around and then stamps on his hand. Tito wants to go again and mocks Rude by copying his pose, before kicking him in the gut and putting on a headlock. Santana tries to fight out with a top wristlock, but Rude reapplies the pressure.

ES - It is slow early on, suggesting they are going to go a while, but already there has been more wrestling than in any Bushwhackers match we have seen.

JD - Santana escapes and sends Rude hard into the buckles three times, before putting on a Camel Clutch. Rude gets out by getting his knees up as Santana goes to jump on his back, and then hits a big inverted atomic drop to take control of the bout. Punches keep Santana down, and he goes to a chinlock.

ES - This has been mildly dissappointing thus far. Santana has lacked his usual fire and Rude has been quite happy to sit in rest holds. It has been a very deliberate pace, but it could have been far more.

JD - Rude comes off the top with an axe handle after a brief Tito fight back, and then slams his head into the buckles, before going to town with forearms to the head. He gets caught going for a backbody drop, as Tito slams his head into the mat, but Rude gets his knees up to prevent a splash and he pays Santana back for earlier by stamping on his hand. Suplex attempt by Rude is blocked and then reversed by Tito, but Rude is up first. He tries a slam, but his back is too weak from the Camel Clutch earlier and the suplex, and he gets caught with an inverted atomic drop.

ES - Nice selling and good psychology. The match has been technically sound and a good contest, just too slow. Hopefully it will pick up a bit for the finishing sequence.

JD - Santana rings Rude's bell and puts on a Figure Four Leglock, but Rude quickly reaches the ropes. They have a quick brawl on the outside, then Santana tries to sunset flip back in, only for Rude to drop and hold onto the ropes for the win.

ES - Ah, that is a shame. They paced themselves to do thirty minutes, but they only actually did fifteen or so. Nice to see a long match with a finish on one of these tapes, just a pity it was a letdown. Again, not terrible or anything, just a little dull because of the pacing.

Final Rating: **

Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase w/ Virgil

JD - One of many matches between these two, this from MSG in April 1989.

ES - This feud lasted forever. This was a full year before their match at WrestleMania VI. We must have seen at least four or five matches between these two. They vary wildly in quality, depending on the venue and their motivation. With this being at MSG, I expect it will be pretty long but with plenty of effort.

JD - Jake gets the better of the early exchanges and backs DiBiase into the corner with a flurry of punches. It is the corner where Damien is, and DiBiase soon jumps out of the ring when he realises.

ES - Racist bigot Hayes questions where an Asian photographer at ringside is from, speculating that it could be "Spain" before going onto talk tediously, like a doddery uncle, about all the different photographers at ringside. Yeah, beauty! Shut up Hayes you goon.

JD - DiBiase tries frustrating Jake, to counter his dominance of the bout so far, but Jake responds to that with a knee lift, before going for the DDT. DiBiase for the third or fourth time, bails to the outside to regroup. Jake gets sick of this and follows him out, giving DiBiase and Virgil the noggin knocker. Virgil tries to distract Jake but it doesn't work, as he catches DiBiase coming up behind him. Jake still targets Virgil, and when he rolls inside DiBiase catches him and takes over.

ES - Jake has looked good in this. A bad Jake Roberts match is hard to sit through, and it is usually when he couldn't be bothered, or one can assume was still fucked from the night before. In this he has been aggressive, bumped hard and has shown real intensity, and it has made for a decent match.

JD - DiBiase locks on the chinlock, but Jake fights out with an armdrag, only to get caught with a punch in the face. DiBiase goes back to the hold and things have slowed right down now.

ES - It is MSG syndrome. The guys were doing long matches so they had to slow them down to pace themselves, it is just doesn't translate well on tape. As we have said before; just because a match is long doesn't make it better.

JD - Million Dollar Dream from DiBiase, but Jake reaches the ropes. DiBiase tries the chinlock again, but Jake has it scouted and hits a jawbreaker to get out. Jake fires back with punches and hits the short arm clothesline to the delight of the crowd, who call for the DDT. Jake goes for it, but DiBiase backs him into the ropes, and Virgil's distraction again costs Jake, as DiBiase clubs him in the back. DiBiase wastes time showboating, and Jake full moons him and rolls him up to get the win.

ES - Another clean win! On the better side of the scale as far as matches between these two, but the long rest hold periods ruined it a little.

Final Rating: **1/4

ES - We go to an awful segment, as a bunch of inbred marks ramble on about the WWF and specifically Warrior and Hogan. One kid says that they are both good wrestlers. Little jerk. One cool guy cuts a promo into the camera, and the majority of the rest of the Universe shouts loudly about little of note. Unassuming lot these wrestling fans.

Iron Mike Sharp vs. Tugboat Thomas

JD - This was Tugboat's debut in the WWF, though he soon dropped the "Thomas" from the end of his name. This took place in January 1990, from Birmingham, Alabama.

ES - Another dark day in the history of the WWF. We have been lucky enough to witness the debuts of two of the worst acts in WWF history on this tape. Nothing is as bad as the Bushwhackers. Except Tugboat. The fat fuck looks confused when Sharp tries to slam him, almost like he has never seen a slam before, and just thinks Sharp is trying to caress his cock. He later proves that he has no issues with such things, as made evident by the look of delight he flashes to the crowd before hitting the jumping blowjob headbutt. As has been discussed elsewhere in this book, Sharp is fucking LOUD in the ring. Comically so. Tugboat wins with a splash. At least it was short.

Final Rating: DUD

Steel Cage Match

Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage & Zeus w/ Sensational Sherri

ES - Sorry, but no. I have sat through three Bushwhackers matches, the debut of Tugboat and some gash segments. I am not watching a cage match featuring Zeus and Beefcake. Someone else can suffer this shit, get Furious to do it.

JD - Ok then, here is Arnold Furious with the review of this match, from December 1989 in Nashville, Tennessee. It is from the same card as the Perfect vs. Garvin match that opened the tape.

AF - To differentiate this from SummerSlam, it’s a blue bar steel cage match. You’d think that’d stop Sherri from interfering but she slams the door on Hogan as he’s getting in allowing the heels to give Beefcake a vicious beat down. She also locks the cage door as an insurance policy so Hogan has to climb in. You know the drill with Zeus by this point, but during this match he actually sells quite a lot, which shows you it’s the end of the road for him. Much like at SummerSlam, Sherri tries to interfere throughout, which leads to decent spots. The blue bar cage did allow a surprising amount of outside interference because of how massive the holes in it were. Savage orchestrates the beating on the faces and a double escape. Sadly, because of the insistence that Zeus sell in this match, the situation leads to a lengthy double down. Well, quadruple down. Sherri slips a chain in and Savage uses it for an epic top of cage axe handle but Beefcake just sidesteps it. Meanwhile Hogan has given up on Zeus getting special treatment. There’s no fear in his eyes and he goes right after Zeus. Beefcake climbs out and drags Savage out to prevent a 2-on-1, thus leaving it as Hogan vs. Zeus for the win. Interesting that Savage bleeds all over the place, mainly because of the lack of attention being paid to it. Like Vince wanted to sweep that bloodshed under the rug. Blade jobs were not allowed at the time but that might be a hardway cut. Savage was pretty pissed off with the WWF at the time so he might have done it on purpose. Either way, the bloodied Savage is no longer an issue in the match so Hogan legdrops Zeus four times for the win. This wasn’t anywhere near as good as SummerSlam. Savage’s motivation levels weren’t the same anymore, while Zeus’ character had been cut off at the knees. Tiny Lister continued his wrestling career by appearing in WCW in the mid-90’s again opposing Hulkamania, this time under the name “Ze-Gangsta”. He never appeared in the WWF again. Tiny’s acting career was more successful with him starring in Friday as neighbourhood bully “Deebo”. A real scene stealing turn. He also appeared as the Galactic President in Luc Besson’s the Fifth Element and got to be in the Dark Knight. So, I guess his acting career trumps Hogan’s in terms of memorable roles. I suppose we can be grateful, looking at the big picture, as if No Holds Barred was a hit we might have gotten Hogan-Zeus as the main event at WrestleMania VI. Although that scenario could have played out an interesting way with Savage going over Hogan between now and ‘Mania and Warrior winning the belt off him instead. Of course No Holds Barred didn’t hold up its end of the bargain and the rest is history.

Final Rating: *

Well, it is one of the all-time worst WWF tapes available. The best match is only ok, and, the other two watchable ones are overly long for what they offer. The cage match is a letdown, but probably too short to offend. However, there is plenty of objectionable material elsewhere, and the main culprits are of course the Bushwhackers. You would be better using this tape as a doorstop than putting it in your VCR.

9 / 100

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Best of the WWF: Hulkamania (Columbia House)

Rough first draft from our upcoming book; The Complete WWF Video Guide (Volume I)
 

JD - This is a tape from Columbia House rather than Coliseum Video, and like most of the tapes they brought out, it is just a collection of matches found on other related comp tapes. There is nothing on here than you can't find on the other Hogan tapes, but Ste and I will do the reviews again for the matches we have not covered, for the sake of posterity.

ES - There were four Columbia tapes in this volume that we could have done, and you volunteered us for the Hogan one! We have already done more Hogan tapes than anyone else as it is!

JD - Well, you should be used to it by now then shouldn't you! Don't ruin another tape by being negative all the way through. I tell you what; I only want to hear positive things from you in this review, ok? We have all heard your thoughts on Hogan countless times.

ES - Ok, fine! I will be positive throughout on the promise that we don't have to do anymore Hogan tapes or DVD's for any other volume again,

JD - Deal. There is no way you will make it through.

WWF Championship

The Iron Sheik (c) vs. Hulk Hogan

JD - This appears on the very first Hulkamania video, which has been covered by Lee Maughan elsewhere in this book. We start at Madison Square Garden in January 1984, for one of the most famous and historically significant matches of all time. There is no hyperbole involved when I say that there has probably never been as important a match as this.

ES - Absolutely, it changed the course of the WWF and wrestling in general. Hogan was something completely new and fresh, and even if some didn't rate him as a worker, his charisma and presence was unquestionably huge. Hogan was money, and Vince was smart and saw that, when Verne Gagne did not.

JD - Hogan jumps Sheik to start and dominates him as the crowd goes crazy. Hogan hits the big boot but doesn't hook the leg, and Sheik kicks out. An elbow to the top of the head and an elbow drop yields the same result. Sheik is yet to connect with a single offensive move.

ES - There is a constant deafening din in the air all the way through the match, there are few matches like it where the crowd is just absolutely willing the babyface to win. This is one of them, and that is because the set-up was perfect. Sheik was universally hated, Hogan was new and exciting and by contrast, was adored by the fans. They knew that Hogan winning the title here would change everything, it was obvious to everyone. There had never been a champion like Hogan before, even Superstar Billy Graham, for all his charisma, didn't have the sheer presence of the Hulkster.

JD - You are doing well so far. Sheik does take control and throws Hogan around with suplexes and a back breaker, before locking on the Camel Clutch. Hogan impressively powers to his feet and rams Sheik into the buckles, then hits the Legdrop and covers him for the win and the title.

ES - The crowd goes absolutely crazy, it is an unmatchable reaction and impossible to recreate. The face of wrestling was changed forever in just under six minutes. Not much of a match, though certainly more than passable by Hogan standards. But either way, this is required viewing for any wrestling fan.

Final Rating: *1/2 [add an extra star or so because of the historical significance for the purpose of algorithm]

WWF Championship

Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Andre the Giant w/ Bobby Heenan

JD - From one incredibly famous match to another, this of course being the main event of the historic WrestleMania III. It is probably the most recycled match of the era as far as making repeat appearances, and it can be found on various other tapes throughout this book.

ES - Jesse Ventura calls it the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling, and for once, that is not hype. The stare down at the start alone is dripping with intensity. This level of match has never been recreated, because it was the two biggest stars of the decade, on the biggest stage in front of the largest crowd. Nothing had come close in terms of spectacle since, and probably never will.

JD - Most wrestling fans can probably watch this match with their eyes closed and recite every spot, so there is no need to do much in the way of play-by-play. If you want that, you can read Arnold Furious' review of Mania III elsewhere in the book. Instead, I am interested Ste in why you think this will never be matched.

ES - Well, stars are created in different ways than they were in the 70's and 80's. Andre and Hogan had both been around the circuit, all over the world, for many years before this match. People believed that Andre had never been beaten in fifteen years, even if it was revisionist history. Hogan had an aura of being unbeatable as well, he had been the WWF champion for three years, which again is a reign length that will not be matched again. When you combine their respective histories and legendary statuses with the personal issue in kayfabe world that they used to be friends, and no-one ever expected Andre to turn on him, and you have magic. Other matches since have been huge, epic and historical, but none to the level of this. The slam at the end from Hogan is also something that they have tried and failed to recreate, but it can never happen. Having Kane slam Great Khali at WrestleMania XXIII was not even on the same planet.

JD - Ok thanks for that. And again, you remained positive!

ES - It has been easy to be so far. This is obviously a horrid match for workrate fans, but that is not what it is about. The match content didn't matter, it was all about the spectacle. Again, required viewing for all wrestling fans. This tape has got it right so far and hit two home runs with the selection choices.

Final Rating: **1/2 [add an extra * or so because of the historical significance for the purpose of the algorithm. I am going to go back and do this for mania 3 and wherever else it appears also. sometimes stars don't tell the full story]

WWF Championship

Macho Man Randy Savage (c) vs. Hulk Hogan

JD - This is from WrestleMania V, and is covered fully by Arnold Furious elsewhere in this book. Instead of just repeating the play by play, I will instead hand you over to Evil Ste and Lee Maughan, who have some thoughts on the finish:

LM - Hogan-Savage at Mania V had the wrong finish. If you look at the numbers, Hogan was on the A-shows and doing 18-20,000 a night, and Savage-Honky or Warrior-Rude or whoever would main event the B-shows and do 10-15,000 a night. Savage got the belt because Hogan was doing No Holds Barred, and suddenly, Savage-DiBiase and Savage-Andre were doing Hogan numbers. Then Hogan came back and his matches against Boss Man would draw 18-20,000 sell out crowds, but Savage vs. DiBiase would do the same. They had A and B house shows doing comparable numbers all summer long. Even when Savage turned, he worked with Warrior and did 18-20,000 houses with the title, and Hogan did it without the title. Then Hogan beat him and the B-shows went immediately back down to 10-15,000. They put the title on Hogan, who didn't need it and took it off Savage, who the numbers proved was a bigger draw as the champion than not. If they'd put Savage over on a screwjob and not just beaten Hogan flat out, they could have had a second summer with two mega-draws, and come back with a cage match, for SummerSlam perhaps. Instead they jobbed out Savage and lost a ton of house show ticket and merchandise revenue, and tried to put ZEUS over instead!

ES - Yeah, but remember, Hogan had never really lost then. If he was beaten, he might have lost his star power and aura, as he did a little when Warrior beat him. Plus, it was a different world in '89. Vince had to end Mania on a babyface win.

LM - I don't think he did really. He already wanted DiBiase to leave Mania IV with the title.

ES - Yes, but he didn't do it in the end. In fact, he didn't do it until WrestleMania XVI!

LM - Yeah, but that's adding another 11 years of history to a decision that was made in 1989. I mean, they still hit big numbers after Mania, but that period with Savage as champion and Hogan back working was their peak, and they never got there again. If worst comes to the worst and Hogan stopped drawing after a screwjob, which he hadn't done after Andre beat him, they could easily put the title back on him at SummerSlam.

ES - I think there is more to it than that. The ethos of WrestleMania might have been damaged by it. Although, I guess that doesn't really matter, especially if Savage is still a draw. He might have become an even bigger draw after screwing Hogan, because the fans would have been desperate for him to lose. I am coming around to your logic to a point, for business it could have been good. I think it would have been very bold in '89 to do that finish at Mania though.

LM - Well, certainly by the standards of the WWF insisting on long-term face champions. Sammartino, Backlund and Hogan set the precedent really, but they were actually an anomaly, the NWA always had heel champions.

ES - Sure, but NWA was different because the heel champion toured the territories and worked the top local babyface. WWF was self contained, and with them touring the country, it made sense to have a face champion for the fans to come and see, rather than a heel champ they wanted to see get beat. They were completely different business models.

LM - Yeah but a lot of the territories would have top heel champions locally. It's gotta be easier to book a "thrill of the chase" angle too. But saying that, I get Hogan being champion for so long, what with being a cartoon show and all. Plus, how can Superman NOT be the champion?

ES - Well, that is the exact argument against Hogan losing.

LM - Yeah, and that's probably why they did it. Although, I honestly think they could have held off, especially because No Holds Barred was about to come out. They didn't have to promote Hogan as "WWF Champion", just call him "the star of No Holds Barred". In fact, there's your gimmick: Hogan gets his rematches at house shows and Savage takes count out wins, so on the second go around, they run No Holds Barred matches that are non-title and Hogan wins.

ES - I wouldn't drag it out quite as long. I think if you have Savage win, then Hogan can go right into the Zeus program on the house show circuit and SNME, keeping him away from the title picture, but still drawing because of the film. That feud didn't need the belt. Let Savage work with someone else on top for a few months and do Savage-Hogan in a cage at SummerSlam. After that they can go to the Ultimate Challenge at Mania VI just as they did. I don't know who Savage could work between Mania and SummerSlam though.

LM - Beefcake.

ES - Fuck Beefcake.

LM - Beefcake in 89 man, he was over and he was having good matches at that point with Rude and Savage. Other than that its Duggan or Jake I guess.

ES - Tito even, if they had booked him better. They could have had great matches in '89, and they had a lot of history too.

LM - I'd probably do Savage-Tito on SNME or something, except they wouldn't play up their history. Isn't it a piss-take how they try and sell you all these historical DVDs, when they've spent a lifetime programming you to ignore it?

ES - I am not allowed to say anything negative.

JD - Sorry to break it up guys, but the match is over so that is your lot.

LM - I would probably rate that higher than Furious did because I really liked it, but that is romanticising it probably. The rating is probably spot on.

ES - I agree, it was really good, but not quite great.

Final Rating: ***1/2

WWF Championship

Sgt. Slaughter (c) w/ General Adnan vs. Hulk Hogan

JD - We go to WrestleMania VII next for this. Anything to say Ste?

ES - Sgt. Slaughter is probably the worst... erm... least best WWF champion of all time.

JD - You are getting close.

ES - I know. I'm not going to say anything about how long they are stalling for either. I will say this though: they certainly didn't leave any room for fence sitting as they had with Hogan against Savage at Mania V and then Warrior the next year. This is as clear a good versus evil confrontation as you are ever likely to see.

JD - This is quite different to most Hogan matches at WrestleMania as well isn't it?

ES - Yeah completely. Hogan is actually selling really believably, and the crowd buys that he might lose. No-one thought Slaughter would beat Warrior, but he did and changed the fans perception of him, and the crowd buys him as a credible threat to Hogan too. They do a strange spot where Adnan distracts the ref as Slaughter has Hogan covered for about a twenty count, and he still only just makes the kick out when the ref counts it. A chair shot which busts Hogan open soon after, adds to that belief that he might get beat. It is rare that you see Hogan show so much weakness. I still think Slaughter was a strange choice to be that guy, and after a year he became completely irrelevant in the WWF. Slaughter actually almost kicks out of the Legdrop at the end, and it is a very different end to a WrestleMania, with a blood soaked Hulkster. For years fans had seen Hogan as Superman, but this made him human. Excellent story and a really good match, it far surpassed anything I would usually expect from these guys.

Final Rating: ***1/4

WWF Championship

Hulk Hogan (c) vs. The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer

JD - This brief encounter has featured on a few different tapes, including Wrestling's Greatest Champions and more pertinently, Hulkamania VI. We have already covered the bout in the former's review.

ES - This is a strange choice, because they do under five minutes and it is just a random bout from a TV taping. All the others have been historical title wins or defences from major shows, but this is neither. I guess they only had a few minutes left and it fit because it is so short. Hey, at least it has a clean finish as well, which makes it 5 out of 5 on this tape. You can tell it is not a Coliseum release, because they never even come CLOSE to a 1.0 batting average for decisive finishes on their tapes. There, positive for the whole tape! Are you happy now?

JD - Congratulations. I promise I will never make you do any more Hogan tapes or DVDs in future volumes.

ES - Hey, if they were all as good as this tape, I wouldn't mind!

JD - So you will do others in future still?

ES - Not a chance pal.

Final Rating: 1/4*

Whoever was working at Columbia House and putting these tapes together, deserves a hearty pat on the back. Aside from the superb Hulkamania 3, no other Hogan comp puts together such a spot on collection of his best moments like this one does. It is a best of Hogan tape, so you want to see his biggest matches, his best matches, and you want to see him win. This ticks all of those boxes, which sounds like a no-brainer really, but few of the Coliseum tapes even come close. If you only own one Hogan tape, make it Hulkamania 3. If you get another, make it this one.

65 / 100

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Monday Night Raw 18/06/12

Evil Ste vs. Michael Cole

ES - Not much to say about a pretty middling show, except to offer comment on the disgrace that was the Cyndi Lauper segment. Let me just be clear on something here; I was not disgusted by the segment itself, but rather the way Michael Cole absolutely buried it from start to finish. That unbearable little Kevin Dunn creation wouldn't even have a job today if it wasn't for the contributions of Lauper. I don't think Cole even realises what a huge deal the Rock N Wrestling thing was. WrestleMania and everything that followed, including being a billion dollar company at one point, was in part due to the mainstream publicity Lauper helped generate with the MTV link. This could have been a genuine touching moment, and hell, if any celebrity deserves to go in the Hall of Fame, it is her, nevermind some throwaway segment on Raw. But you take what you can get with WWE, and this should have been memorable and could have been classy, but instead that ignorant little rat was (presumably instructed) to bury the entire thing. I guess it begs the question of why Vince agreed to let it happen in the first place, and what exactly Piper and Lauper had done to deserve being assassinated in such a way. The WWE is remarkable in that it buries its own history and tries to erase it from history and memory, but then releases a slew of DVD's that champion eras past, along with their aforementioned money spinning HOF. Having watching the original Lauper-Piper-Albano stuff recently as part of the reviews for our new book about the WWF and it's tape releases, those classic memories were once again fresh in the mind. For Vince McMahon and the talentless and universally hated Cole, to proverbially piss in my mouth like that, made me feel almost sick. A wrestling fan can only have their intelligence insulted a finite number of times before they move on. You would think after that 2.7 rating a few weeks ago, they would do everything they could to keep their audience, not alienate it further. The subsequent refusal to use the super-over Zack Ryder in his hometown, was equally dumb. Listen to me WWE: Very few of your guys are over, and business is on the cusp of a major collapse outside of WrestleMania. If someone gets over, fucking PUSH THEM! Try that instead of burying them for not being the guy your corporate bullshit machine wants to push. Also, where was Vader? The guy was more over than any of the cookie cutter nobodies on the roster last week, bring him back and let him teach your bland, generic, devoid of personality "sports entertainers" how to work.

No Way Out 2012

Evil Ste handles this one for us solo.

World Heavyweight Championship

Sheamus (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

Crowd well behind Ziggler, Lawler looked like a fucking idiot for saying the loud and obvious "Let's go Ziggler" chants were for Sheamus. Why must they peddle their shit constantly and ram their way down everyone's throats. Someone else was over, just go with it! Imagine if they reacted like that with Austin in 96/97 when he started getting cheered as a heel. Ziggler should have gone over here, throw a swerve in there with him getting the shot so late, and throw someone new right into the top line mix. Ziggler is one of the top three workers in the company (along with Punk and Bryan) and he is just incredible to watch. His current status is criminal; he should be a megastar, especially with their incredibly shallow talent pool. Good match this anyway, hurt slightly by the odd botched spot, but it was exciting and the crowd helped. The result was sadly never in doubt.

Final Rating: ***

Tuxedo Match

Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

Shite. What a complete joke this was. I like both these guys but this had no place on a PPV. Christ, it had no place on Superstars twenty years ago for that matter.

Final Rating: DUD

WWE Intercontinental Championship

Christian (c) vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian is boring. Cody has been in this same spot for too long. If you are going to elevate him, now is the time. I struggled to maintain much interest for this one. It is just same old, same old.

Final Rating: **

Four Way Tag

Nice to see a new team given the chance and a mini push, and also pleasing to see tag wrestling given an opportunity. I guess this is one.  of Triple-H's incentives, because I heard he was high on making the division hot again. Fingers crossed, but breath not held. Hell, it was not exactly the Brainbusters or the Bulldogs out there, but at least it was real teams in matching gear, with a reason to be teaming. That is enough for me in 2012. Some cool spots, and they didn't let the uninterested crowd bother them. Fun enough, and there was some promising talent in there.

Final Rating: **1/4

WWE Divas Title

Layla (c) vs. Beth Phoenix

Yeah, fucking around with the tiara didn’t get over. It's because you are balls love. Watching Layla thinking about her next spot, because she lacks any natural ability or ring awareness, is at least good for a giggle. They just do stuff. Nothing really flows or tells a story, like nearly all Divas matches, it is just moves for the sake of moves. You could hear a cricket fart during this. Should any champion winning ever be considered an upset?

Final Rating: 1/4*

Hunico vs. Sin Cara

The dimmed lighting really annoys me. The "we want Ryder" chants during this tell you everything you need to know. Other than that, the aforementioned cricket is still flatulent, and we all know about it. I have never seen a cruiserweight guy work as boring a style as Hunico. It is like watching the Barbarian. I wanted Sin Cara to work in WWE, but the experiment has been a disaster. Poor match, despite the odd athletic spot.

Final Rating: *

WWE Championship

CM Punk (c) vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Shame they ruined this by adding Kane. I can only assume they did it to upset the people who would want to see the singles between Bryan and Punk again. The AJ stuff leading up to it had actually been pretty good. Tasty little crumpet as well isn't she? They are over these former ROH guys who "don't know how to work" aren't they? You would think WWE might cotton on and bring more proven workers from elsewhere in. I'm sure I am not alone in thinking Kane looks like he is wearing his singlet inside out. Bryan is the best thing they have in the company. The exchanges between him and Punk were as good as you would expect them to be, just superb chemistry. Kane, not so much. Actually this was his best match in ages, and he looked good in there carried by two superior workers. AJ involved in the finish was expected, and thankfully she didn’t get too involved to ruin the match, it was just at the end. Good little 3-way.

Final Rating: ***1/2

Ryberg vs. Jobbers

I still don’t get why you would have a body like that and then cover it with a singlet. He looks impressive, I enjoyed his squashes. Those Goldberg chants won't go away though. You can tell it is pissing him off too, because he was trying to make them chant "Ryback" at the start. Bless him. If they brought back TV squash guys, maybe more of their roster would get over. It would increase the number of fresh matches on PPV's ten-fold as well.

Final Rating: SQUASH (But a fun one)

Cage Match

John Cena vs. The Big Show

It's like we have regressed, having to suffer Show in main events. Give it a month or two and this push will be dead and buried. Again. Like it always has been over the last 13 years. This is the FIFTH show in a row that Cena has main evented and the WWF title has not. They sure do know how to elevate things. At least Cena doesn't joke around when he looks into the camera tonight, unlike his usual suspension of disbelief destroying nod, wink and nudge, and acknowledgement that it is all just a bit of fun. Michael Cole said: "WWE fans". I guess it is because Vince is at ringside and not feeding him lines. If they released comp tapes like they used to in the 80's and 90's, would they have to change Fan Favourites to Universe Favourites? I bet they would too. This was like a cage match dot-to-dot puzzle, it was so basic and generic for the bulk, not to mention boring.

Final Rating: *

Very average show from start to finish. Some decent stuff , but not enough of it.

39/100